please come you make the beer taste better
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
