i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
