How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
