the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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