How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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