we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize