its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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