oh god the rape fog is back!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
