I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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