I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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