omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize