i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
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I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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