he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
