he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
