I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
