Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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