I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
