some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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