I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
