That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
