is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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