im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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