found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
