How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
