so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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