me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
