their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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