Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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