Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
