I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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