SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
