My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
