I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize