what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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