Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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