Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
