you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
is wine microwaveable?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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