so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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