Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
