But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
