NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize