you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
