guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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