it hurts more in the daytime
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
