So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
