Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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