Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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