This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
