Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
