Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
