I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
