It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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