I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How's work?
Spinning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
