Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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