i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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