whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
