I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
