you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
