god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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