So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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