I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
