My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
