just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
