sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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