I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Someone shit on the floor
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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