You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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