i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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