the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i think my cat just said my name.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
