Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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