fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
