Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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